Our child often gets angry when he doesn’t manage to reach his goal. How can we react to this situation and help him to manage his frustration? Is it serious? We take stock of the situation with a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist.
Table of contents
- Angry at failure: a sign of frustration
- We accompany him without solving his problem
- He puts pressure on you: stay calm
Angry at failure: a sign of frustration
Every time Loulou makes a mistake when he recites his poetry, he gets angry and wants to start over from the beginning. When he writes a sentence dictated by the teacher and makes a mistake, his reaction is just as excessive. He erases with a big gesture of anger and throws his notebook on the floor. Faced with a puzzle? The same sign of annoyance when he can’t find the right place for a piece. Our Loulou is frustrated, that’s all!
We accompany him without solving his problem
It’s perfectly normal for a child between the ages of 6 and 8 to get upset when the result doesn’t meet the objective he or she had set. Especially since at that age, their motor functions are not necessarily in line with their expectations when they carry out a creative exercise. To us, this situation may seem anecdotal. But for him, it represents his whole life. He doesn’t understand when we tell him that it’s not serious because it is serious! To keep him confident in his abilities, the idea is to accompany our child by showing him that we understand how he feels. “You shouldn’t hesitate to ask him if he needs help without giving him the solution, which could make him even more upset.
He puts pressure on you: stay calm
So there’s nothing to worry about if this attitude is temporary and not invasive. “Sometimes, it hides a deeper malaise that the child can’t express otherwise. It may be symptomatic of stress, of something the child interprets as a particular requirement of parents or school,” notes the clinical psychologist before adding: “Children grow up in the mirror of their elders. If they see that their parents get upset when they can’t solve a problem, they may tend to put pressure on themselves. There’s no need to feel guilty about this just to temper yourself. “You have to stay calm,” insists the clinical psychologist. And we have to listen to our child.
Kids react differently to failure or setbacks. It is normal when you see your kid getting really angry because he has just failed at a particular task. This is because he desists failure, which is actually a good quality to possess. However, you should learn how to relate to him in such situations.