The birth of a child is a plunge into an unknown universe. This prospect can obviously cause some apprehension. Let’s take stock.
Table of contents
- The fear of disability
- The fear of the future
- The fear of losing one’s freedom, of having to change one’s way of life
- The fear of not making it
- Fear of reproducing the bad relationship you have with your parents
- Fear for your relationship
- The fear of not being able to bear the burden of an illness
The fear of disability
Which future parent does not have the anguish of assuming a very sick baby or a disabled child? Medical examinations, which are very efficient nowadays, eliminate many complications even if the risk is not zero. It is therefore preferable, when considering pregnancy, to be aware that this can happen.
The fear of the future
What kind of planet are we going to leave to our child? Will he find a job? What if he takes drugs? All women have many questions about their children’s future. And that’s normal. The opposite would be surprising. Did our ancestors make babies without thinking about tomorrow? No! It is the prerogative of all future parents to think about the future, and their duty is to give all the keys to their child to face the world as it is.
The fear of losing one’s freedom, of having to change one’s way of life
A baby is certainly a totally dependent little being. From this point of view, carefree living is over! Many women are afraid of losing their independence regarding themselves and what they like to do, but also concerning the father, with whom they will be linked for life. Therefore, it is a great responsibility and a commitment for the future that should not be taken lightly. But there is nothing to stop you from reinventing your freedom by including your child. As for dependence, yes, it exists! Affective especially. But in the end, the hardest thing for a mother is giving her child the keys to take flight and acquire independence. Having a child is not the same as giving up your own way of being. Even if some adjustments are necessary, especially at the beginning, nothing forces you to fundamentally change your lifestyle to welcome your baby. Changes are made little by little, as the baby and the mother get used to each other and learn to live together. In any case, women often continue to work, travel, have fun. While caring for their children and simply making them part of their lives.
The fear of not making it
Having a baby? You don’t know how it works! So you’re obviously afraid of this leap into the unknown. What if you don’t know how to do it? A baby is something you take care of naturally, and if you need help, you can always find it: a nursery nurse, a pediatrician, or even a friend who has already been through it.
Fear of reproducing the bad relationship you have with your parents
Abused or unhappy children, others abandoned at birth, are often afraid of repeating the mistakes of their parents. However, there is no heredity in this matter. You are two to conceive this baby, and you can lean on your spouse to overcome your reluctance. You are the ones who will create your future family, not the one you knew.
Fear for your relationship
Your partner is no longer the center of your world; how will he react? You are no longer the only woman in his life; how will you take it? The arrival of a baby indeed calls the couple’s balance into question since it “disappears” in favor of family status. It is up to you and your partner to maintain it. Once your baby is here, there is nothing to stop you from continuing to keep the flame alive, even if this sometimes requires a little more effort. The couple is still there, just enriched with the most beautiful of gifts: the fruit of love.
The fear of not being able to bear the burden of an illness
Some ill mothers are torn between their desire to be mothers and the fear of making their child bear their illness. Depression, diabetes, disability, whatever the ailment, they wonder if their child will be happy with them. They are also afraid of the people’s reactions but do not feel they have the right to refuse their husbands the right to be a father. Professionals or associations can really help you and answer your doubts.
It’s natural to be concerned after the birth of your child. But there are moments when it’s more. You may have more than the new-parent jitters if your anxiety is out of control, keeps you up at night, or keeps you on edge most of the day.
You can heal from postpartum anxiety and bond with your precious baby with the correct treatment.
Your doctor may prescribe an early postpartum checkup after your baby is born to look for signs and symptoms of postpartum depression. The sooner it’s discovered, the sooner it can be treated.